The biggest mystery since we discovered other planets is whether or not we are ‘alone.’ It’s a question we’ve spent millions on, tried communicating with aliens and found extraterrestrial beings, but we haven’t obtained a reliable proof of that yet. Or have we? Regardless of whether we did or didn’t, an alien invasion is a real threat we have to take into consideration.
Like any disaster, an alien invasion’s primary element of uncertainty can be overwhelming. The main goal in most emergencies is protection. But, as alien invasions are so uncommon with zero happenings until now (probably), what can you do to protect yourself from the unknown? Well, other than buying alien insurance (which, shockingly, does exist), some of the measures you can take are by learning how to prepare for any event, with four simple steps.
Your guide to emergency preparedness
Step 1: How can you take preventive measures from an alien invasion?
No one can ‘prevent’ an alien invasion if we aren’t sure when – or if — there is one coming. Ufologist and former Ministry of Defence UFO investigator, Nick Pope, says that humankind is not ready for the likes of any alien attack. If you are interested, perhaps you can be the one to find a way to track aliens just as we follow any other natural disaster like a tornado or hurricane. It’s also likely a good idea to casually say, out loud, how much you love aliens, so that they know you mean them no harm when they do arrive. Assess the threat level, and if possible, find their weaknesses.
Once you’ve built some tracking device or relationship, you can begin working on your emergency plan. Include who you’ll trust with alien information, and where your safe house is, so that loved ones are aware of where to meet you if hiding out is required.
Step 2: How can you prepare for an alien invasion?
An alien invasion is no different than any emergency, in that you should always have a survival kit. Your survival kit should include essentials, such as a first-aid kit, food and water, but an alien survival kit might require something completely different.
Consider putting the following items in your alien survival kit:
- A raygun to protect yourself and loved ones;
- Protective goggles;
- Google translate, in case you need to communicate with each other;
- An invisibility cloak.
Step 3: What should you do during an alien invasion?
If an alien invasion has begun, it’s time to get serious and avoid abduction. There are some essential tricks and tips you can use during an alien invasion, including:
- Reinforce your home to make entry difficult;
- Have a dummy sleep in your bed to trick those aliens;
- Walk around in an alien suit, so they think you’re one of them;
- Buy an orgone. Lots of them;
- Install a cage that keeps out electromagnetic interference;
- Cats have been known to scare away aliens, so get one to make those aliens think twice before invading your home;
- Buy a guard dog.
If all of these techniques fail you, it’s time to try to befriend the aliens. I don’t know what will work with them, but humans usually fall to some of the following:
- Flowers and chocolate (especially female aliens);
- Beer or alcohol;
- Show them our latest technology. They might like selfies, too;
- Offer them a round of your favourite video game;
- Offer them another human to take.
Finally, if friendship doesn’t seem like an option, I’m sorry to say, but it’s time to go to war. By watching some alien movies, I’ve concluded that aliens can be defeated by:
- Germs in the form of both human and computer viruses;
- Human air, or oxygen as we like to call it;
- Sometimes, it looked like water was like acid to them, so that can work too.
And if this doesn’t work either, then, we’re doomed — all of us.
Step 4: How to recover after an alien invasion
Wow, you did it! You somehow managed to survive an alien invasion. The first step after the attack would be to gather with other survivors to see what your next steps are as a society. If you need to rebuild or help to integrate aliens into your community because they’ve decided they want to stay on Earth, do your best to be a leader.
Otherwise, it’s merely time to readjust to the ‘new normal’ that will be life after the realization that aliens really do exist.